How Can You Get This So Wrong?

This is really annoying me. No – I’m not decrying Dell’s socially responsible contribution to the whole [RED] campaign. That’s laudable. No – what gets me is how they really, really don’t get their (email) marketing right.

dellhell

Come on Dell – you and I have been doing business for at least 10 years now – I really think you should know quite a lot about me. I mean, you know my details (I registered), you know my marketing preferences (no junk please). You know my browsing behaviour (from my registration). You know my buying behaviour (I buy a computer from you every 3 or 4 years). OK – you know I bought my first laptop from you nearly 8 years ago. You know I bought a desktop from you 5 years ago. You know I bought another laptop from you 16 months ago.

So why oh why do you send me something two or three times a month trying to persuade me to buy another one of your computers. PCs and laptops aren’t as expensive as cars but they are more expensive as CDs and DVDs. They are more expensive than iPods.

I am not going to buy a new one every month so why do you insist on sending me stuff. You know the one you sold me last time is going to at least last another year or two depending on how tight I’m feeling the pinch.

(You should know that I bought a MacBook by the way guys, Mind you – they’re as bad – why would I want to buy another now?)

I just get annoyed now. It makes me not want to buy your stuff.

ocadohell

It annoys me as much as Ocado. I’ve never bought anything there. I registered (just so I could have a look at what was on offer) and ever since you haven’t got the message that I’m not going to buy anything.

Honestly guys. You’ve been sending me this £15 voucher nearly every week for a year and I haven’t done a thing with it. Take a hint? Please do because I think you’re hurting your reputation as a firm that knows what it’s doing.

Congratulations to the “P04N” Spammer!

Much as we detest spam, particularly if it’s flogging some lurid sex, I have to take my hats off to the following guys!

spamwinner2

If you’re like me, you’ll have some mental spam avoidance set-up. You’ll perhaps use an ISP with a decent enough firewall to bounce off the most obvious of stuff. You may already know that Googlemail has a really respectable spam filter (in comparison with other web-based email providers) and you may well forward mail through that. You may also then download to your favourite email client and that too may be protected by a reputable Internet security package that also monitors spam in your mailbox. So – belt and braces and your pants are also riveted to your legs to stop them falling down!

I’ve a set-up like this. Decent ISP for my host, forwarding to Hotmail, which then forwards to GMail, which is then downloaded to my email client protected by F-Secure. 4 walls each with their own particular take on spam.

So imagine my surprise to see this simple, clear English, unambiguous message sat happily in my mailbox, undisturbed by Bayesian probability or other magical tools to test its provenance. Just goes to show that the best marketing messages are the ones that are clear and communicate directly with the customer. No messing about with fancy language. Hell – even their domain shows no messing about.

These guys are the ones you need to get your email marketing into the right mailboxes!